Friday, October 23, 2015

Reblogged: Tug of War

Given that we are a non-monogamous species by nature, the ribbon that ties up poly-pandora’s box is held in a tug of war between our feelings of jealousy, and our need for novelty. The freedom we are willing to give, and the freedom we crave.

Some believe jealousy is a cultural construct. Subtle forms… perhaps, but sexual jealousy, and the need to possess a partner (and all its associated behaviours) are fully natural. The one sole purpose of our existence, for most of the time since sexual reproduction was evolved, is to ensure that our genes made it to the next generation. In order for this to happen, we had to find the best mate available to us, and keep this mate around long enough to ensure adequate resources for child rearing. Hence, the existence of jealousy.

Naturally, most of the people I’m familiar with share my world view on the matter. Although I know some to whom infidelity would be unthinkable, if (and only if!) they were in a relationship they were fully happy with. I’m skeptical. Variety is part of a happy, healthy relationship. A friend expressed that the creepiest thing about most couples is that partners were forbidden to express desire for others. So, in fact, most people live a lie. Because of this, we’re serial monogamists more than anything else. This is the most common romantic arrangement.

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