Sunday, February 21, 2016

Sunday blues

For some reason, Mondays don't really bother me, but Sundays almost always do. I kinda miss meeting up with Mr Sensible on Sunday nights. Mr Sensible and I have remained platonic due to the complicated circumstances we were in when we met, even though we both acknowledged the attraction and sexual tension that's there. He has a girlfriend now, we haven't been in touch for 2 months already... oh well, I will write about him another day. 

My weekend was quite satisfying. Dom came over after work on Friday night. He brought me Milo (he knows I was out of stock at home), red velvet cheesecake (I mentioned that I was craving for cake), and frozen sets of Yakisoba to bring to work as lunch.

I was going to make vegetable soup for dinner, and since daikon radish takes forever to become soft, I thought it was a good idea to throw in the daikon radish and turn on medium heat before we initiated fornication. Sure thing, after our passionate rough sex, we proceeded to snuggle and completely forgot about it until Dom smelled something burning. I jumped up and rushed to the kitchen, luckily the dish was salvageable... Primary teasingly exclaimed, "How did you manage to burn soup?!..." 

Cousin came over, 4 of us had dinner together and played RISK. They were very competitive at this game, it was a lot of fun. After 2 rounds, Cousin left and Primary went to bed. Dom stayed until 2am.

Despite Dom being affectionate and all, I was still clouded by suspicion the whole time I was with him, but I didn't mention anything. After that incident of breaking promises (mentioned in Lies and Secrets), Dom has developed this habit of checking my phone every time we meet— briefly if we go out, extensively if he comes over to my place. Whenever he conducts a thorough inspection of my phone, I ask for his phone in exchange, although I know I won't find anything he wants to hide. Of course, I won't leave traces of things I don't want him to know either. I see no purpose of this ritual. I thought about secretly installing spy app on his phone, but most of those apps require jail-breaking. The whole process would take a fucking long time to execute, so I've given up that thought. 

It then dawned on me that having considered that in the first place is so pathetic. Shame on me.

Guess what else? So after Dom reached home, he texted me goodnight and said he was going to turn in— which was completely justifiable since he already spent 8 hours with me and stayed until 2am, yet I was wondering: did he not text me for 20-60 minutes like we usually do before we go to sleep because he wanted to allocate time to text some other chick? 

Holy Mary mother of God, what the fuck was wrong with me? Such a pity... such an irony. No matter how rational/practical I think I am and try to be, I can still be so ridiculously typical at times. As it turns out, this graph is pretty accurate: every woman is at least a 4 crazy. Maybe it's the hormones?

I went to gym with Dom on Saturday evening. When we were doing abs workouts side-by-side, an urge hit me from out of nowhere and I asked to see his phone. He looked a little surprised (I never asked before he asked for mine first), but still handed his phone over without hesitation. I clicked on Note to see if that was where questionable contacts were saved (since I never came across any in his messaging apps), but what I found was a note he created long ago when we first met to record trivia about me. It's funny and embarrassing to read ("favorite positions are missionary and doggy; doesn't like being licked in the ear; favorite food is McDonald's Fillet-o-fish..."), at the same time so adorable lol. After gym, he walked me home and stayed for a short while to cuddle. Then I had to go meet up with Nymph and Dom had to go home.

After Nymph and I got our orders at Five Guys, I decided that she should just come over to my place to catch up and chill. I hadn't seen her since December, but we text each other almost everyday, so it didn't feel like it's been that long. She is leaving soon for a job offer in New York though :(

Dom was supposed to have breakfast with me this morning, but he overslept. To be honest, I hate making plans with him for Sunday mornings, because 1/3 of the time he couldn't make it—  either he overslept, or his wife decided not to go to church. I've learned to not have expectations, but sometimes I still felt disappointed when he couldn't make it, especially after he managed to make it for a few times in a row. The worst part was when I couldn't help waking up early, had nothing to do but to wait for him to confirm with me whether he could make it, then having my hope diminishing little by little as time went. Sometimes it wouldn't bother me when I had a back-up plan: drag Primary out of bed and out of the house to get brunch. However, back-up plan wasn't available today. Primary had been busy this weekend, and had already left the house early in the morning.

But it wasn't too bad today, Dom and I texted for half an hour after he woke up, then some time after, we talked in the phone for another half an hour, because he wanted to tell me the exact phrases he just heard from his best friend Dentist while his memory was still fresh. So Dom has this group of Mandarin-speaking Asian friends with the same fate: born privileged, stuck in monogamous relationship/marriage but secretly leading a polyamorous lifestyle (of varying degrees). I nicknamed the group "League of Cheaters". This Dentist from the L.O.C, whom Dom grew up with and is closest to, just called from Taiwan and ranted to him about this crazy chick for more than an hour.

Dentist started dating this girl as a side chick while still in a long-distance relationship with his long term girlfriend. He got her pregnant, she reached out to his girlfriend to reveal the affair, girlfriend broke up with him. Dentist then paid for her abortion and started dating her officially, but she soon discovered that Dentist and Peter, another member of the L.O.C, were brothel frequenters. She broke up with him, and to prevent him getting back together with his ex, she forwarded the evidence she discovered to his ex. That was the last update of Dentist's love life before Dom and I went to the NYE swingers' party in Chicago. Apparently, Dentist got back together with her, got her pregnant again, did abortion again, and she found out Dentist didn't stop visiting hookers with Peter. She went apeshit, threatened to inform Peter's wife about it and make public the scandal.

Dentist told Dom that Dom's private life is the envy of their L.O.C friends: a good-looking wife dumb enough to be kept in the dark + a hot, adventurous, kinky mistress + random chicks on certain occasions arranged by mistress. Other than to update me about the latest developments between Dentist and that chick, what Dentist reminded Dom of was why he had to call me— to express his appreciation of my understanding and sacrifices, and his gratitude for having me in his life. He then asked me if I will ever be interested in engaging in sexual activities with his wife. This was the second time he asked me this (the first time was on our back back from Chicago, we had a similar conversation), and my answer remained the same: if comes the day she is able to accept and respect my relationship with him, and is willing, why not?

Right now however, knowing that she despises polyamory and antagonizes any female creatures near him, I'd be insane if I say I approve of her and don't mind eating her out. In fact, I used to loathe her existence in his life so much. I once told Nymph that I wouldn't hesitate to get rid of her permanently if I could do it without turning him against me and without having to face any lawful consequences. I wasn't joking when I said it. Nymph asked me to stop dreaming and be prepared to hire a good lawyer. I asked Nymph if she will be willing to be my accomplice. We laughed so hard.

My desire of wanting that woman gone has subsided by a great amount after I found out that Dom has already married her 4 years ago. Dom never hid the history that they've been together for a decade, but somehow I thought I stood a chance to separate them or have Dom convert her. Knowing that their relationship has a legal status and that he obtained his citizenship via her, I quickly came to acceptance that he will never abandon her and their marriage, because apart from their history, so many things are at stake: social affiliations, reputation, properties, finance, etc.

Having been through so much with Dom, her existence no longer felt like a threat to our relationship. The only two game-changers I could think of for now are 1) long distance 2) children. Dom sounded adamant that he doesn't want any children. They only fuck once or twice a month anyway, but they don't always start with condom on, and I have a feeling that she tries to trick Dom into impregnating her once in a while, so we'll see.

Blogging a weekend worth of events seems to help me get by Sunday blues, I should do this often.

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