Wednesday, March 8, 2017

2nd anniversary with Dom

Dom finally got done with his qualification exam last week. He came to spend time with me on 4 different days last week, yet out of those 4 times, we only fucked once.

Blergh, this wasn't how I wanted to start this entry...

Anyway, our relationship turns 2-year-old today. Dom suggested dining out, but I came up with some excuses and had him come over after work and bring me McDonald's... like last year. Except that I actually bothered putting in a little more effort this year. I tied myself up around the breasts (shinju chest harness) with the rope that came with the BDSM kit Dom got me a few months after we met. The kit hadn't been put to good use for a long time because we found the tools redundant, but I figured why not, for a special occasion. I got so turned on during the process, even more so when I looked into the mirror and saw myself tied up like that. I was already wet when Dom arrived. He gave me a teasing frown when he saw what's underneath my bath robe, then fucked me relentlessly.

And that was it. Nothing unusually romantic or sentimental. I still haven't heard the L word.

It feels like I just wrote about our first anniversary not too long ago, and within a blink of an eye, another dull but stable, drama-less year has passed. I haven't gone out with anyone new since the 4F2M orgy with Dom at the swing party in Chicago. Dom claimed (or acted like) he hadn't either. I finally realized that even if he's telling the truth, and no matter how much evidence he could give to prove himself, given his history, I can never be convinced.

Gosh, I have been exclusive to Hubs and Dom for 14 months now. Hubs never cared if I see/date/fuck other people, but it's pretty clear to me that Dom is not okay with it, even though we hadn't explicitly brought it up after the swing party.

But I don't think I can maintain this exclusivity any longer without developing resentment. It's not that I want to be less attached to Dom, or to diminish my feelings for him. I just don't want to start looking for a distraction or replacement only after something happen (or after I find out about something). We are not going anywhere at least for a few years, so I can safely assume that our relationship will go on for at least few more years unless any game changer comes into sight. This issue is not going to just dissipate. I have to do something about it. Honestly, I don't want to deprive myself of the potential pleasures too if suitable candidates come along.

Then again, I am not going to just date/fuck anyone just to "get back at" my distrust of Dom that has always been there. It's pathetic.

I will only do things because I want to. For myself. And for myself only.

I am so curious what I will write about next year this date. Aren't you?

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